BLAST from the PAST -- Remembering back to those Toddler Days!

I was cleaning out the hard drive on my computer today and came across this article I wrote but never published about getting jobs done around the house while homeschooling young kids.

The memory of those days with four kids under 7 is a hazy one, but reading my advice from then feels surprisingly relevant still today, and I can see a lot of the fruit from some of those routines and diversions.

Hope you'll be blessed by this if you feel unable to release those grasping hands from your "skirts" when all you want to do is clean a toilet or fill the dishwasher.

Trust me: this season will pass!


WHISTLE WHILE YOU WORK: 5 SURE-FIRE WAYS TO KEEP THE KIDS BUSY (WITHOUT RESORTING TO THE TELLY)*

*This should now read: without resorting to electronics

As a home-schooling mum with young children, I’m often asked how I can get any jobs done with kids always around. I won’t lie and say it’s easy (I’m definitely no super-mum), but with my five sure-fire tips, you, too, can keep your house reasonably tidy, get dinner on the table, and even find time to read, sew, iron, or bake some homemade bread!

1. If they can’t beat you, let them join you.


Pre-schoolers are incurable mimics. They are also desperate to be “big”, so when they see you hoovering, they want to help. Instead of evicting them, try involving them. You will probably have to accept that a chore will take twice a long with your little helpers, but there are other benefits, including:

• enjoying each other’s company; 
• making them feel useful; 
• teaching them a skill that one day they can do on their own. 

Cooking continues to be a favorite pastime 

2. Share the load.


On the subject of responsibility, don’t be afraid to assign a simple task to them. Children are a lot more skilful than we often give them credit for. Sorting socks, folding towels, emptying dishwashers, and tidying away toys are all within the abilities of quite young children. Just don’t expect perfection. My boy was a little over a year old when he started helping with the laundry by throwing dirty clothes down the stairs, but lately he has taken to throwing the clean laundry down as well!

No longer "share the load" but DO the load! 

3. Discover audio books.


Audio books are tapes or CDs where actors read stories aloud, usually with sound effects and music as well. Children as young as eighteen months find them entrancing. Ladybird Books offer a whole range of fairy tales with accompanying tapes, such as “Pinocchio”, “Three Billy Goats Gruff”, and “The Gingerbread Man”. Local libraries also stock longer stories like “The Velveteen Rabbit”, and Amazon sell read-along soundtracks to favourite Disney classics like “Monsters Inc.” or “Snow White”. Two words of caution about audio books: first, you may want to preview material, as it may be unsuitable for toddlers; and second, you may prefer CDs to cassette tapes so you don’t have to keep coming back to turn the tape over.

We've moved from audio books to voracious reading 

4. Turn on the sink.


Sometimes, you need five or ten minutes for a concentrated effort, but there’s a danger of wallpaper desecration if you dare turn your back. That’s where the sink can become your ally. Using a sturdy stepping stool, park your child in front of the basin with a toothbrush in one hand and a small beaker in the other, turn on the cold tap to its lowest trickle, and then dash to your desperate duty. It may be the case that you spend thirty seconds wiping up the puddles when you return, but on balance, you will have come out ahead.

There's still something special about water on the skin 

5. Send them to the garden.


I’ve saved my favourite tip for last. I’m a firm believer in giving children as much fresh air and active play as possible, and when they can do that while I get some work done, all the better. Of course, you won’t want to leave your young children unattended, but should your kitchen sink look out over the garden (as mine does), then you will find that you can do quite a lot of chores while keeping one eye on the kids. If it’s your lounge or bedroom window, think about doing the ironing or folding clothes.

My teen has never outgrown a snooze outdoors 

Finally, let me offer a bonus tip for those times when you need utmost concentration, such as balancing your chequebook or paying bills. Find a reliable teenager – as young as 13 would be fine – and pay them a few pounds to play with your children for an hour or so. These are sometimes called “mother’s help” -- because they aren’t actually having to shoulder responsibilities like a babysitter -- but I think they a better name for them would be “mother’s godsend”.


FIVE TERRIFIC TOYS FOR KEEPING THEM OCCUPIED


1. Indoor trampoline. It may prove so popular, you’ll need two!

2. Lego. Choose a size that’s appropriate for the age of your children.

3. Toy kitchen.Mine doubles as a shop, with a much-beloved cash till.

4. Trains.Or any set of things they can unpack, arrange, and re-pack – hopefully, over and over again!

5. Puzzles. More for nursery-aged children. For toddlers, substitute shape boxes.

Winning the Clutter Battle, Part 1

Recently, I read the most amazing book for homeschoolers by Barbara Rockett called Homeschooling at the Speed of Life. 

She had many excellent points, but the main one that stuck with me was that people are more important than things, and if things are getting in the way of your relationships, then you really must do something about the things!

So, convicted deeply, I decided step one would be to sort out the very first room in my house: the porch.  With four children and a husband who never gets rid of shoes, regardless how hole-y they are, I had a serious clutter problem there.

These aren't actually my shoes, but it gives you the idea!

We were using the tall Trofast buckets you get at Ikea, one for each child, and a row of 4 hooks for their jackets.  However, as the children grew bigger and bigger, their jackets draped over the youngest one's shoe bucket, thus covering it up.  To get to his shoes, he would toss the jackets on the floor. They would get trampled, tossed into another corner or behind a different bucket, or buried under someone else's shoes in a different bucket.

Basically, the system (system?? ha-ha) wasn't working.

And this doesn't even touch on the melee when we had our fortnightly co-op and 14 other children plus 6 other parents show up on our doorstep.


After hours of research on the web in trying to find the right solution (and a solution that fit the dimensions of space we had!), I settled on these plastic cupboards.

They're designed for use in the garden as extra utility sheds. Many people who have reviewed them complain that they're not waterproof, but since I'm using them indoors, I don't mind about that.

Best of all, they snap together in only a few minutes (on average -- the first one took us about an hour, and the second, about 6 minutes!).

I found them at a shop called ShedStore in the UK, but if you're looking for them elsewhere, they're called Chaselink Large Utility cabinets.  Their reviews are really good, and after looking at many, many items that had BAD reviews, I would warn you off buying imitators.

I realise that we'll still have the problem of 20 extra pairs of shoes next Monday, but now I have four empty Trofast buckets which should do the trick!

What about chores?

Chores, chores, chores! They gotta be done, but how do you go about it -- especially when the kids are home 24/7, and you've got more than a full-time job trying to run a household and teaching your family (not to mention the other balls you're trying to juggle in the air, whatever they may be)?

Everybody needs to pitch in!

Over the years, I have read books like Managers of their Homes, and more recently, Homeschooling at the Speed of Life* which are very good about scheduling, but I usually find -- as I'm sure most of us do -- that one person's plan for organising the household isn't always exactly right for my family.

So, right now, I do two things with my four kids.  I give them regular, almost-daily chores, and I give them a Monday job, a Tuesday job, etc.  

We call these once-a-week jobs "fish jobs" because I once saw an episode of Supernanny where she had the children use magnets and string as fishing poles to catch magnetic little fish with chores written on the back.  

We, too, once fished for our jobs, but because my kids like routine -- and I like practice till perfection! -- we never fished for the jobs again and just kept to them until they were outgrown and passed down to younger siblings.

My older two -- who are 12 and 10 -- receive salary for these chores.  My younger ones -- who are 7 and 5 -- have chore charts.  They put their stickers on when they complete their chores, and they get paid 5p each, with an opportunity to win a morning at the coffee shop with Mommy if they ever do all their jobs for four days of the week.  (This has NEVER happened up till now).

Busy Timmy's Chore Chart

If you want some good ideas about which chores are age appropriate, you can just Google "age appropriate chores".  Here is a link to one version by Focus on the Family.

Sometimes, having a chart is a good way for ME to keep honest about what jobs need doing.  For example, I'm not very good at making my kids practise their instruments, even though I should be very strict about this.  Having the instruments on their list makes them become responsible for themselves -- they see it, know it needs to be done, get on with it, put on the sticker, etc. 

We're all happy, then!

Putting violin practice onto Rocky's chart
helps her remember to do it
(it's also in her school schedule for a double reminder
because she can be forgetful ...
usually on purpose!!!)

I have been on many forums where a discussion ensues regarding whether or not to pay children at all for their chores. I think I got convinced about paying children from Dr Dobson's New Dare to Discipline book, which basically said we, as adults, are almost always able to discover reward in whatever we do, money-wise or not.  I mean, I really, really hate to do the dishes, but I know there are myriad good reasons for doing them. 

Children, too, deserve to see the reward in what they do, but they probably aren't yet mature enough for seeing rewards in a job well done, like we are, unless there is tangible and short-term evidence for it.  Money is one option.  I have also used pocket-money toys in the past, where they could trade a certain number of stickers for a yo-yo or something similar, but the toys were so cheap and made such stupid clutter, I decided I'd rather give them money.

In the end, I would rather pay my children for doing their jobs than give them pocket-money for nothing.  They are learning about saving, spending, and giving; they are learning how working hard achieves more reward. 

Best of all, I can see them all starting to pitch into household success without always needing to be paid -- helping out in areas which aren't on their chore charts or their lists -- and I guess that's what I'm ultimately after.

Making lunch has its own rewards!

*I haven't finished this book yet, but so far, I like its practical, down-to-earth approach.