My Purple Space, or How I Find Quiet Time When Homeschooling

It's one of the frequently asked question by newbie homeschoolers, or people thinking about taking on the responsibility/fun/adventure of doing so: How do you find time for yourself if the kids are around all day?

Here's my thoughts about finding time/space for just such moments: I call it my "purple space".

The colour for the stage of my life right now is characterised by the color purple.  Not like "Color Purple" of Alice Walker's novel of that name, though by the end of this post, you may think there are analogies between the two concepts.

My purple is literally the color. I color-code my belongings. My iPhone case, my Bible, Kindle cover, MP3 player and its case, the shell on my laptop, my water bottles, and even my eyeglasses, are all purple.*

These are a few of my favorite (purple) things

I am purple in our household because it's noticeable at the bottom of my bottomless handbag, but it's not flashy. I'm purple because it's sometimes the cheapest option. I'm purple because it suggests authority and royalty while also being a cool, calming color, and even feminine in an "I'm-not-pink" kind of way.

I am purple because I'm a mother of four homeschooled children who know few boundaries -- life is an adventure, to be explored, used, often discarded. The home is their classroom, laboratory, refuge, and headquarters. My purple things are marked out as though my signature were on them -- "These are NOT part of the curriculum!"

I have never seen the children borrow, use, or sneak the purple things -- the purple code is inviolate without my having to ever spell it out for them.

I think there's a life lesson in this; to ponder over. Carving out the purple spaces in my life are just as important as buying my pens in purple ink, so I know they will be found in the pen pot on my desk when I need to write something down.

For me, that's 9:30-10 am every morning most mornings. I have completed my shower, dressing, teeth brushing; put on a load of laundry; fed the dog; poured my coffee and made my two peanut-butter-cracker sandwiches. I close the door as the children go through their long-established morning routines, and take my time out of the day.

The Celtic Daily Prayer book I use reminds me of whom I am -- loved and gifted for some spiritually greater service, but dependent on God for that identity, that mission. I'm reminded to praise Him, thank Him, honor Him. I'm reminded to be "lowly and meek, yet all powerful" (from the Celtic benediction) -- thus, to use my words for giving life and encouragement, and to view all people as God's creations, whether or not they acknowledge it themselves.

Centered, refreshed, still: for just a few moments, I am in my purple bubble.

Then at 10 am, I set aside my purple pen, close my purple Bible, and take my purple peace with me into the technicolor world.

*My husband said that I should clarify that purple is NOT simply my favorite color -- that award goes to very bright, spring green.

What about chores?

Chores, chores, chores! They gotta be done, but how do you go about it -- especially when the kids are home 24/7, and you've got more than a full-time job trying to run a household and teaching your family (not to mention the other balls you're trying to juggle in the air, whatever they may be)?

Everybody needs to pitch in!

Over the years, I have read books like Managers of their Homes, and more recently, Homeschooling at the Speed of Life* which are very good about scheduling, but I usually find -- as I'm sure most of us do -- that one person's plan for organising the household isn't always exactly right for my family.

So, right now, I do two things with my four kids.  I give them regular, almost-daily chores, and I give them a Monday job, a Tuesday job, etc.  

We call these once-a-week jobs "fish jobs" because I once saw an episode of Supernanny where she had the children use magnets and string as fishing poles to catch magnetic little fish with chores written on the back.  

We, too, once fished for our jobs, but because my kids like routine -- and I like practice till perfection! -- we never fished for the jobs again and just kept to them until they were outgrown and passed down to younger siblings.

My older two -- who are 12 and 10 -- receive salary for these chores.  My younger ones -- who are 7 and 5 -- have chore charts.  They put their stickers on when they complete their chores, and they get paid 5p each, with an opportunity to win a morning at the coffee shop with Mommy if they ever do all their jobs for four days of the week.  (This has NEVER happened up till now).

Busy Timmy's Chore Chart

If you want some good ideas about which chores are age appropriate, you can just Google "age appropriate chores".  Here is a link to one version by Focus on the Family.

Sometimes, having a chart is a good way for ME to keep honest about what jobs need doing.  For example, I'm not very good at making my kids practise their instruments, even though I should be very strict about this.  Having the instruments on their list makes them become responsible for themselves -- they see it, know it needs to be done, get on with it, put on the sticker, etc. 

We're all happy, then!

Putting violin practice onto Rocky's chart
helps her remember to do it
(it's also in her school schedule for a double reminder
because she can be forgetful ...
usually on purpose!!!)

I have been on many forums where a discussion ensues regarding whether or not to pay children at all for their chores. I think I got convinced about paying children from Dr Dobson's New Dare to Discipline book, which basically said we, as adults, are almost always able to discover reward in whatever we do, money-wise or not.  I mean, I really, really hate to do the dishes, but I know there are myriad good reasons for doing them. 

Children, too, deserve to see the reward in what they do, but they probably aren't yet mature enough for seeing rewards in a job well done, like we are, unless there is tangible and short-term evidence for it.  Money is one option.  I have also used pocket-money toys in the past, where they could trade a certain number of stickers for a yo-yo or something similar, but the toys were so cheap and made such stupid clutter, I decided I'd rather give them money.

In the end, I would rather pay my children for doing their jobs than give them pocket-money for nothing.  They are learning about saving, spending, and giving; they are learning how working hard achieves more reward. 

Best of all, I can see them all starting to pitch into household success without always needing to be paid -- helping out in areas which aren't on their chore charts or their lists -- and I guess that's what I'm ultimately after.

Making lunch has its own rewards!

*I haven't finished this book yet, but so far, I like its practical, down-to-earth approach.

How Do You Schedule Your Homeschooling Day?

Personally, I like the idea of "routine" rather than "schedule" -- I'm quite a free-form person at heart, but have had to get more structured for my kids' sakes.

So, I've gone with the "middling" description of routine, so it's still a bit flow-y without being chaotic.

Maybe it's still a bit chaotic

We wake up about 8 (or so ...), and while the kids have breakfast and do their morning jobs (normal toileting like getting dressed, brushing teeth, as well as chores, which include some that are done every day like emptying the dishwasher and some that are the same each day of the week, like putting out new toilet paper rolls in all the bathrooms on a Tuesday), I get my own breakfast, throw on a load of laundry, and have my quiet time.

We start promptly at 10 every day. First, it's prayer and Bible song and Bible reading and Bible memory verses. This is followed by history.  We're currently reading this book: The Story of the World: Ancient Times v. 1: History for the Classical Child (Story of the World: History for the Classical Child).  We follow that with science (Jeannie Fulbright's Anatomy and Physiology).  

Strengthening the muscles
of our hands

Sometimes, the Fulbright is a bit dense for my younger ones, so they might drift away to do some colouring, drawing, or work in some kind of workbook like Thinking Skills.




Then the kids break up into separate categories -- my oldest and youngest play together for 15 minutes while I do maths with my 9-year-old, and the 6-year-old does her copywork and map skills or handwriting or art (depending on the day).

Busy Timmy's favourite part
of the school day is playing
with Phoenix all by himself

Then my oldest does her math while I help my younger two with their math, and 9-year-old does his copywork, guitar practice, and map skills/handwriting/art.

My younger two finish off their work-day by watching the Spanish language videos called Salsa. I read to the older two from Plutarch or Shakespeare or Robinson Crusoe or poetry. Then the 9-year-old finishes with Salsa while, some days, I do dictation with my oldest one by using a Geography textbook that she enjoys studying from.



By now, it's easily lunch time.


The kids play some computer game after lunch, and then if it isn't a day for shared art with a friend, or Spanish conversation, or music lessons, or a friend is visiting, then we'll get back together and do either art appreciation or music appreciation or something from the Keepers Club manual or just bake/cook/(in good weather, play in the garden).

Friends AND Baking:
The Best!

I also make it a habit to read to each child before bedtime, so that's when we get to our free reading from Ambleside Online (as opposed to the mounds of books they free-read on their own that aren't necessarily on the AO list). Many nights, I try to get Daddy to play a board game with them while I go for a walk.

There are lots of variation on this theme, but we stick to the general idea most of the time.

I've tried much stricter schedules and have written them all down and ticked boxes, but it always seems to move back into this undulating ebb and flow of education being simply an atmosphere and life (and a bit less of a discipline!).

Planning and Preparing for Back-to-School

To me, the run-up to a new school-year is one of the most fun times in the life of a homeschooling mom.  All the great, optimistic plans, the excuses to buy new notebooks and pens and books, the joy of clearing out last year's stuff to make way for the new.

Yet, it can also be a stressful and difficult time.  For one thing, if you're anything like me, you've just had a fantastically relaxed summer vacation.  I've just returned from two months in my home state of Texas, where -- ok -- we were setting record temperatures over 105 and it never rained, but having lived twenty years in England, there's something glorious in having the sun on-tap whenever you want to brave the scorching weather for a half-hour or so.

Soaking up the sun in the sand.

Now it's back to dreary, chilly reality, an empty calendar looming in front of me, and lesson plans to arrange for four children who range in age from 11 to 4, and a house to de-clutter after the exodus at the end of last term.

Factor into that the vacation-thing: piles of laundry and new books and toys and swimgear, all gathered over the past two months when the children seemed to decide that sunshine was some kind of growth hormone, and they all shot up about an inch, which meant new clothes and shoes as well.

Unusual picture of me among the clutter
(unusual that it's me, not that there's clutter!)

So to help us all -- new homeschoolers as well as veterans, since every year is a new challenge -- I've come up with a handy little acronym to help you get everything ready in under a week's time.

R-A-D-A-R-S

You can either think of it in terms of having a RADAR device that locates everything that's coming your way, or you can think of that character in MASH who always seemed to be able to know what was coming ahead of time and so anticipated his commanding officer's needs.

This is your RADAR for the coming year:

• R) Remind yourself why you're homeschooling.  I think it's important every year to recall your purposes and motivations, because there are times (and we all have them!!!) when you just can't think of who thought homeschooling was a good idea.
• A) Avoid over-buying curriculum and supplies.  The flush of having a whole year's worth of stuff is so exciting, until the credit card bill comes.  Spread out your costs if possible (for example, some curricula, like ShillerMath, might offer payment plans -- if there's no penalty for doing it, then it's not a bad solution).  Better yet, look into free options like AmblesideOnline.
• D) De-clutter.  I can't tell you how important this is for starting your year, since you'll invariably clutter back up during the year.  I'm going through a phase right now of having a very critical look at the books on my bookshelves, choosing only those "living books" that don't "undermine the child's integrity".  In other words, that doesn't dumb-down the reading experience.  I can't believe how many annuals of Teletubbies, Thomas the Tank Engine, and My Little Pony I had accumulated, and now they're going down to the charity shop.
• A) Adapt any curricula or programme so that your input is minimized, particularly in terms of combining  children or even your whole family together for some things. I know with some boxed options, this will be hard, but there is only one you, and that makes it really important to protect yourself from burn-out. Otherwise, it affects not just the homeschooling, but the home itself.
• R) Routine, not schedule.  I think of schedules as rigid, whereas routines are more flowing.  Instead of using a time frame like "10:00-10:30 Science", I just aim to do science after we've done our history reading, which should be around 10 or so.  An example of routine in a timetable can be found at Simply Charlotte Mason. Just note: at first, they looked overwhelming to me, and then I realised that -- true to the Charlotte Mason method -- the number of different subjects were being covered in only about 10 or 15 minutes each.  This is so children can concentrate for a long stretch of time (between 2 and 4 hours, depending on the age), but not have to focus too long on any one thing and so get tired and cranky.   You can, for example, mix in some silly dancing, or PE, or computer time, or music practice so children, especially boys, can move between desk work and something that uses a different part of the brain and perhaps is more geared toward gross motor skills.
• S) Stay simple, and stay sentered ... yeah, yeah. I stretched that one.  Again, though, it's a matter of protecting yourself.  There's such a tendency to overcommit to lots of outside clubs and sports, seemingly overcompensating for your children's social opportunities at home (though children who are at school are also dangerously overcommitted, and they haven't got that excuse!).  Keep it simple, because actually there's a huge bonus for children to be left alone sometimes to make up their own entertainment.  And keeping it "sentered"?   That's getting yourself a break from it all, a time when your kids are doing something on their own and leaving Mommy to have some Quiet Time.  It may be to pray or meditate, read a novel, have a cup of tea or coffee, soak in the tub, potter in the garden, or whatever is your method of choice to relax.  But honestly, do it every day.  Every day.

A good book about simplifying, not exactly about homeschooling is Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids.  Maybe pick up a copy and read it in your Quiet Time!

So fix your eyes on your RADARS in these last few days before you leap into your homeschooling again, and hopefully, you'll be able to see all those things that lie ahead of you. 

Remember: forewarned is forearmed.

One Kind of Daily Schedule

I have been home-educating my children for over seven years now, and though I have dabbled in various curricula from unit study to biblically based, they all have one general thing in common: a sympathy to the methods espoused by Charlotte Mason over a hundred years ago.

If you want to know more about the Charlotte Mason method, you can Google the name, or start off with this website.

In the meantime, I thought I would share with you the kind of schedule that my son, Killer, has responded to so well over the past year.

I have made it myself using the "table" function in Word, printing it out, and then laminating it.  That way, he can use a water soluble pen to mark through his work every day, then wipe it all off for the next day, to start over again.

To reproduce it here, I had to save it as a JPEG in "Paint", so it's got a bit garbled in translation.  I think you can get the gist of it, though.

Staying Home ... or Not

To my mind, there’s nothing better than staying home to learn and to live.  We spend our 2 1/2 hours every morning in our school room, not always getting through "the plan", but always focussing on something that’s interesting and stimulating.

The picture to the right, for example, was taken on a day we had been learning about whales in the Apologia Science text, called "Exploring Creation with Zoology 2: Swimming Creatures on the 5th Day."  The photo shows how long a blue whale actually is, tracing back to our starting point where the sidewalk ends in the distance.

One welcomed addition this year is our opening routine.  We do stretches called "yes, no, maybe", starting with our heads (yes and no are self-explanatory, but maybe is tilting your head side-to-side to point each ear toward your shoulder).  

Then we have adapted an idea called Five Rhythm Dance to a music appreciation segment.  Using something like "Bolero", we start off with slow, very long movements for a few minutes, then move into karate-chop type gestures.  Finally, we switch over to "Ride of the Valkyries" and do crazy dancing. 

Finally, we choose something like Vivaldi’s "Winter" and just lie down and listen.  The kids are learning about composers and compositions while getting some exercise.  

We try to stick to routine most days, because if we go out too many times in the afternoon each week, or have too many people over, we have problems with the "living" part of our day — that is, we can’t keep up with our daily fire-fighting chores, much less get ahead with de-cluttering.

Never the less, there are times when opportunities arise when a field trip or friend’s visit should be welcomed: carpe diem, seize the day!  We took one of these when we received a voucher from the local wildlife park which saved us one child’s entry.  It was enough to pack us off to the animals for a day.  Hardly anyone was there, so we had the swings and slides to ourselves, could stand front-row to watch penguins eat, and pet all the goats and sheep until our hands felt like lanolin gloves.

So, there are distinct advantages to being an eclectic homeschooler, especially that of having an adaptable routine.  We just call such flights of fancy by the name of "nature study"!

Are there any routines you find helpful?  Post them in the comments box below.